Alas, It's been a long time since I have written anything in my little happy space. Let me catch you up to speed...
I'm sitting on the floor inside of my house in Clovis, California, looking out the window to see trees bending in the wind and the sun's rays warming the grass displayed in my front yard. I've already eaten breakfast which consisted of almost everything Jeffrey's Bay didn't have (coconut yohgurt, blackberries and grain free granola were among a few things I found difficult to find in town) and am finding myself constantly looking at my watch to make sure I'll have enough time to get ready for work at one of my three jobs.
It's now 2 March and I've been home since mid December. For those of you who have been asking about my return to Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa, here is your answer: I don't know.
I came home in December with a fresh perspective and full heart about returning at the end of January to continue working with Aleph Surf International and the Creative Director to continue production on their Spring/Summer 2015 line of accessories and clothing. I was stoked. I was over the moon. I was really, in for a shock.
Coming "home" was and still is a difficult process. Mentors and friends had cautioned me about a few things to expect and what might happen once I return, but in my opinion, everyone had downplayed the effects of coming back to California. People in the community had told my group and I that the friends and family we had left for a few months hadn't changed but instead, we ourselves had changed on the inside as well as the outside, giving us a different perspective on the people we know and love. This is all so very true, not only applicable to people but to the cultures we live in and even to the things we used to enjoy before our time in Jbay (tv, hobbies, foods, etc.) But, I've noticed that, yes, my friends and family have also changed while I was away- some for the better, some for the worse. And as it pains me to write/say this, I was naïve enough to believe everything would be as great- if not even better- once I had returned. I imagine it like playing with dolls in a dollhouse when I was little- I'd play with all my dolls and leave them in the miniature rooms I had so carefully selected them to stay in while I attended to something else for some sort of time. Eventually, I came back to the dollhouse to find that the dolls were not where I had previously left them but scattered all over and possibly unrecognizable or even missing.
When I had landed on the West Coast, I received a phone call that brought me back to the Central Valley for an emergency (which I'd rather not disclose over the internet) which left me wondering if I could actually go back to South Africa after such an intense few weeks. If something were to happen while I were away, I wouldn't get first news about any emergency until much later because of time differences and capped internet. And if I were then to decide to fly home, changing a ticket would cost me an arm and a leg AND it would take me at least a day and half to get back. Coming to the realization to stay put in California was one of the most difficult decisions I have made so far, but, I do not regret my decision to stay put in Clovis whatsoever. In fact, whilst making the choice to stay or go back, my parents only wanted me to seek Jesus no matter where I decided to live- something I think is a very rare and beautiful attribute my parents hold.
With that being said, I'm still trying to raise money to return to Jbay. I might not be going back when I had anticipated but I figure if I can at least go back at some point to finish what I started, then that's good enough for me! I don't have a set date yet but am anticipating for some time around the end of spring or beginning of summer (winter for my ZA friends reading this). I've thought several times if I should just put the idea to rest and start looking towards new places to travel to or other nonprofits I would be able to get involved with but it always comes back down to finishing what I started. I know I'll get back to South Africa as long as I seek Jesus throughout it all.
If you made it all the way to the bottom, I really appreciate you reading this and hope this answers some questions (if you really have any). I felt compelled to write everything on the site so I don't seem like a broken record or haven't explained everything thoroughly. If you have any questions, feel free to email me in the CONTACT section at the top and I'd be happy to answer any questions or open to any advice. If you would like to donate please send an email, text or comment below!
baie dankie & much love,
Ren
I'm sitting on the floor inside of my house in Clovis, California, looking out the window to see trees bending in the wind and the sun's rays warming the grass displayed in my front yard. I've already eaten breakfast which consisted of almost everything Jeffrey's Bay didn't have (coconut yohgurt, blackberries and grain free granola were among a few things I found difficult to find in town) and am finding myself constantly looking at my watch to make sure I'll have enough time to get ready for work at one of my three jobs.
It's now 2 March and I've been home since mid December. For those of you who have been asking about my return to Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa, here is your answer: I don't know.
I came home in December with a fresh perspective and full heart about returning at the end of January to continue working with Aleph Surf International and the Creative Director to continue production on their Spring/Summer 2015 line of accessories and clothing. I was stoked. I was over the moon. I was really, in for a shock.
Coming "home" was and still is a difficult process. Mentors and friends had cautioned me about a few things to expect and what might happen once I return, but in my opinion, everyone had downplayed the effects of coming back to California. People in the community had told my group and I that the friends and family we had left for a few months hadn't changed but instead, we ourselves had changed on the inside as well as the outside, giving us a different perspective on the people we know and love. This is all so very true, not only applicable to people but to the cultures we live in and even to the things we used to enjoy before our time in Jbay (tv, hobbies, foods, etc.) But, I've noticed that, yes, my friends and family have also changed while I was away- some for the better, some for the worse. And as it pains me to write/say this, I was naïve enough to believe everything would be as great- if not even better- once I had returned. I imagine it like playing with dolls in a dollhouse when I was little- I'd play with all my dolls and leave them in the miniature rooms I had so carefully selected them to stay in while I attended to something else for some sort of time. Eventually, I came back to the dollhouse to find that the dolls were not where I had previously left them but scattered all over and possibly unrecognizable or even missing.
When I had landed on the West Coast, I received a phone call that brought me back to the Central Valley for an emergency (which I'd rather not disclose over the internet) which left me wondering if I could actually go back to South Africa after such an intense few weeks. If something were to happen while I were away, I wouldn't get first news about any emergency until much later because of time differences and capped internet. And if I were then to decide to fly home, changing a ticket would cost me an arm and a leg AND it would take me at least a day and half to get back. Coming to the realization to stay put in California was one of the most difficult decisions I have made so far, but, I do not regret my decision to stay put in Clovis whatsoever. In fact, whilst making the choice to stay or go back, my parents only wanted me to seek Jesus no matter where I decided to live- something I think is a very rare and beautiful attribute my parents hold.
With that being said, I'm still trying to raise money to return to Jbay. I might not be going back when I had anticipated but I figure if I can at least go back at some point to finish what I started, then that's good enough for me! I don't have a set date yet but am anticipating for some time around the end of spring or beginning of summer (winter for my ZA friends reading this). I've thought several times if I should just put the idea to rest and start looking towards new places to travel to or other nonprofits I would be able to get involved with but it always comes back down to finishing what I started. I know I'll get back to South Africa as long as I seek Jesus throughout it all.
If you made it all the way to the bottom, I really appreciate you reading this and hope this answers some questions (if you really have any). I felt compelled to write everything on the site so I don't seem like a broken record or haven't explained everything thoroughly. If you have any questions, feel free to email me in the CONTACT section at the top and I'd be happy to answer any questions or open to any advice. If you would like to donate please send an email, text or comment below!
baie dankie & much love,
Ren